When my colleague Robert Dobay called me in 2014 to say that Magyar Telekom (subsidiary of Deutsche Telekom) would like us to develop a “likeable” mobile application for them that would support the daily work of managers, I was not very enthusiastic. Developing managers is not an easy business, and their phone will NOT do it for us, I thought.
When we see others achieve their desires, their goals, we often admire their character or their determination they have been blessed with. We may think that if we are really committed to do something, we will succeed. Unfortunately, however, we oversimplify the nature of change when we conclude that it is only through willpower that we can achieve the goal we set out to achieve. If we fail to lose weight, can’t resist sweets or regularly work late from home, or have a notorious shopping compulsion, we simply say we couldn’t resist. But it’s too easy. What if there are other things beyond willpower that play a role in our failures or even our successes?
If I look at my own learning, I see it first and foremost as a responsibility of my own. However, there are regular impulses in my life, mostly from specific individuals, which orient me further towards the next stage of development.
It is quite understandable that we don’t want our colleagues to keep complaining to us about problems and not take responsibility for the solution. But if we expect them to come to us only when they have the solution as well, they may be afraid to tell us and withhold problems that we should be aware of. Fortunately, it’s not that difficult to avoid the constant whining by creating a safe environment for colleagues to feel free to tell us their problems and bad news:
Listening is a very powerful tool for a good manager. A good coach does not give advice, only asks questions. Coaching mindset, operating with questions, is essential to be a successful manager. All sound pretty good, in theory, but I don’t share that view honestly. I do agree that it is very annoying to be an asshole who has answers for all the questions, even to those ones that have not been raised. On the other hand, going by questions alone leaves little room to develop others. Let’s think about it…
Several studies show that people are becoming increasingly frustrated with such classification systems or deficit focused evaluations. A survey of the Institute for Corporate Productivity found that only 19% of job seekers thought their performance management system was valuable for them.
